When you’re planning your guest list, especially if you’re planning for a small soiree, trying to determine who makes the cut can be difficult. Everyone has an opinion, and often the list of potential invitees will far exceed the available space. Here are four things to keep in mind when trying to decide whom to invite and whom you can safely skip.

1. If you’re footing the bill for the wedding yourself, then you get 100% veto power over your guest list. But if your parents (or anyone else) will be paying, in full or in part (say, more than 25%), then they do have a say. Swallow your pride and work out a deal regarding your three distant great-aunts, or foot the bill yourself.

2. You aren’t obligated to include the friends you haven’t talked to since highschool. And the relatives whom you only hear from at Christmas (via mass-mailed postcard, of course)? Totally up to you.

3. Plus-ones are tricky territory. Say you send your invites, and two months before the wedding, one of your pals begins dating someone new and asks to bring him as her plus-one. Given the newness of the relationship and the closeness of the wedding date, it’s fine to politely explain that there’s just no room for a last-minute guest. On the other hand, if she’s been seeing him for two years, you’ll need a good reason like a restraining order to exclude him, or face her ire.

4. Split the guest list evenly with your groom. If he wants to invite twenty college buddies, you get twenty spots for your girlfriemds. But you don’t get to dominate the list and then knock off only his choices when trim time comes (and vice versa). Fair is fair!

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1. When is it ok to decline a wedding invite

1. Smile. It’s that simple!
2. Accept a compliment without any qualifiers like “She only said that to be nice.”
3. Sleep more. This refreshes both your body and your mind.
4. Learn something new. Adding to your knowledge makes you feel smarter even when you’re not using that newfound skill.
5. Quit overanalyzing everything already!
6. Stand up straighter. Good posture makes you look thinner.
7. Reward yourself often.
8. Learn from failures and move on.
9. Exercise.
10. Spritz on perfume. A spicy floral can make you feel thinner, which can be a huge confidence booster on, say, a first date.
11. Make eye contact. This shows others that you are a confident person.
12. Say “thank you”. Gratitude feels good!
13. Meditate. Not only does it help to relieve anxiety, it can be a great way to unwind after a long day so you can get a good night’s rest (see #3!).
14. Laugh out loud. Watching a funny Youtube video is a great midday mood booster.
15. Volunteer. Helping others boosts everybody’s moods!
16. Put on lipstick. Many women report feeling more confident when wearing makeup.
17. Take a walk. Walking lifts your mood and gets your blood pumping, which helps fend off sluggishness.
18. Eat your veggies.
19. Ditch the mantras. They actually tend to call attention to negative thoughts and feelings.
20. Make a list of everything in your life that’s positive.
21. Set realistic goals. Even if that’s only “feed the cat”.
22. Breathe.
23. Take a vacation. All work and no play leads to burnout, which can lead you to think more negatively about things.

1. A first “I love you”. All together now: Face. To. Face. Anything less will feel less sincere.

2. And, at the other end, the need to break up. You wouldn’t do this via Post-It Note, would you? (C’mon, shake your head.) Then don’t do it via text message, which is heartless and disrespectful.

3. That you’re angry with someone. Fighting is no fun, but fighting over text takes it to a new level of being both unpleasant and sort of ridiculous. Sending a pissed off text message won’t make you feel better, it’ll just add fuel to the fire. Save your breath for a face-to-face convo, and talk out your problems like adults.

4. A change of plans. There are exceptions, but if you have major plans with someone say, dinner reservations with a friend–and you absolutely must cancel, it’s only courteous to phone and apologize.

5. A major life event. Graduating? Getting engaged? Your loved ones deserve something more, whether that’s a personal chat, a phone call, or a paper note.

6. “Thank you”s after a major life event. Even with the rise of digital communication, a handwritten note is still the best way to go. It’s more personal and also shows that you put some thought into the gift/action of the recipient.

7. “I’m pregnant/dying/going to jail.” More urgent than a life event, and maybe not as happy, this sort of earth-shattering news via text will only leave the recipient stunned/frightened/angry, and likely more than a wee bit confused if they can’t immediately get ahold of you via phone.

1. An announcement for a major life event. All of the usual culprits are included here: weddings, birth announcements, etc. Etiquette requires an old-fashioned paper announcement, or at the very least, a phone call to your loved ones to give them the scoop.

2. Complaints about your job. Many companies have strict policies about posting gripes or gossip involving your job and/or coworkers, and you can be punished or even fired for what you say on your page. So save it for a private chat with a tight-lipped bestie!

3. Musings about your personal relationship(s). Posting about that fight you had with your boyfriend will only lead to more trouble. Why? Not only does the entire (virtual) world now know his and your personal business, which is bound to tick him off, it’s fair game for all of your friends to discuss amongst themselves. If it involves another person and you think they’ll be upset, save yourself the headache and don’t post it.

4. Gossip. Can you say for sure who’s reading or who will pass it on to the wrong ears? Gossip is bad; gossip via Facebook can be a nightmare. Remember, in the digital world, there’s no such thing as privacy.

5. Vacation plans. Announcing your extended absence on a public wall is like putting out the welcome mat for burglars, who now know exactly how long your house will be empty.

6. Party plans. Why? Well, how did you feel in the fourth grade when one of your classmates announced to the room that she was having a party and then somehow you never got an invitation?

7. Anything hasty and emotional. These sorts of posts are hard to retract and harder to explain, and they can be embarrassing later on like, when you’re sober.

1. When accepting will cost a small fortune. Say it’s a destination wedding, and the total for airfare and accomodations will equal multiple months’ rent. Or you’re asked to be in the party, but the bride wants you to blow a month’s paycheck on your bridesmaid dress. It’s perfectly acceptable to say “thanks, but no thanks” to the invite.

2. When it’s the second (or third, or fourth) marriage for one of the betrothed…and you’ve attended one or more of their previous weddings!

3. When your spouse is specifically excluded. Yes, the couple has the right to control their guest list, but if you’re being singled out to ride solo in a sea of plus-ones for some reason short of a restraining order, you have the right to decline.

4. When you’re not close with either of the betrothed. Feel a little weird getting an invite to your cousin’s wedding you know, the one you haven’t seen in twenty years? A congratulatory card will suffice.

5. When the couple has already eloped, but now wants to throw a big shindig. Couples have varying reasons for throwing a second wedding, but if they’ve already legally married and now want to put on a lavish affair with all the trimmings (especially months later), it’s entirely up to you whether to join in the celebration or simply send a card.

7. When you’re on the “B” invite/wedding party list. Oh, so one of the original choices can’t make it, so now there’s room for you? Pass. This is, at best, mildly thoughtless, and at worst it’s downright insulting.

8. When your ex is involved. Simply put, you’re under no obligation to attend the nuptials of an ex, nor stand in the party, amicable break-up or no. ‘Nuff said.

There weren’t too many steps to match, thank God, since I’m playing a choreographer in Chance Pe Dance. What little I had was fun since you’re inspired just watching Shahid groove. The film is not so much about dance as struggle, aspiring actor Sameer’s struggle. I’m his soul mate, the one person he can talk to, laugh and cry with. (Smiles) My line ‘You want to franship with me?’ seems to have caught on in a big way. The short hair is also getting a lot of ‘Wows’.

You have a similar soul mate?

Yeah, my mom. Since we come from a non-filmi background, we had no one to guide us. We made mistakes and learnt on the job. She was always there by my side which is why this wasn’t just my struggle but our struggle.

I thought you’d say Riteish Deshmukh, given the fact that you’ve been close since your first film, Tujhe Meri Kasam, seven years ago, and now apparently are ready to tie the knot.

I’m lucky to have Riteish for a friend. I follow him on Twitter, I also follow Shahid, Imran (Khan) and a whole lot of others. I’m clueless about how these marriage rumours started since I don’t see myself settling down for a long time. Since I was promoting my film, I had a chance to clarify things or by now we’d have been miya-biwi.

You must know by now that Jiah Khan was the original choice for your role and had even shot for Chance Pe Dance? She’s really upset about being replaced and recently gave director Ken Ghosh a piece of her mind.

What happened with Jiah involves UTV and Ken (Ghosh). It doesn’t concern me. They were on the lookout for another heroine when they approached me. Had I turned down the role, they would have gone to someone else. I took on the project because I could connect instantly with Sameer and his struggle. I don’t know Jiah well, but I don’t think this has created any bad blood between us. She’s much too sensible to take this personally.

There was apparently trouble brewing between Shahid and you too over the film’s promotion, so much so that you refused to appear on the TV show, Laughter Ke Phatke.

I did not appear on Laughter Ke Phatke because I was unwell. I tried, till the last minute, to keep my commitment but then decided it would be unfair to the producer if I went on the show not looking my best. All izz well between Shahid and me.

Ah, so you’ve seen 3 Idiots?

You haven’t accepted too many roles lately, apart from It’s My Life and Hook Ya Crook. In fact, at any given time, you have more films in Tamil and Telugu than Hindi. Planning to disappear down South again?

I’m doing well down South since I’ve been working there for the last five years, while I’ve been back in Bollywood for only a year. But I’m not going away again. To get Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, I had to audition with 400 girls and prove myself all over again. But since making my comeback, I have constantly been in the eyes and minds of my audience. There’s been a film, Life Partner, a TV show, Big Switch, ramp walks for Suriley Goel and Farah Khan and countless ads. I’m the face of several premium brands across the country and they wouldn’t have happened if the recall connect wasn’t high.

Is a sequel to Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na on the cards?

I don’t know but if there’s one, I’d love to be a part of it. I may not fight as much as Aditi and go around wanting to tear someone’s eyes out, but deep down, I’m a lot like her.

Even though you had issues with Imran during the making of the film?

From my side, I had no issues with Imran. We’ve met a couple of times and chatted amicably.

It’s My Life has been in the making for a while now and even with No Entry director Anees Bazme at the helm, its box office prospects look bleak, given Harman Baweja’s recent debacles.

The delay was because of the economic slowdown over the last 12 months. The film is complete now and we’re looking at a mid-June or early-July release. It’s a special film, I should know having done the South original, Bommarillu. It should do well if it gets a good release. Harman and I are looking good together. And, so what if his What’s Your Raashee? didn’t work. I was almost out of the running too, till Abbas (Tyrewala) decided that I made a perfect Aditi and gave me Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na.

Hook Ya Crook is also held up?

That could be because there’s a lot of physicality involved and till John (Abraham) completely recovers from his injury, he won’t be ready for action. I play a lawyer in the film.

You have a three-film contract with UTV, was Big Switch a part of the deal?

I’d love to work with them again but I have no contract with UTV. I took on Big Switch because it’s different from other reality shows. Also, when someone shows confidence in me even though I have never done TV before, I don’t like to let that person down. I’m not a star host on the show but a friend you can fool around with. (Laughs) Do you want to franship with me?

(Text courtesy: Hindustantimes.com)

You’ve said you’ve been to hell and back…
I have and the only reason I survived those years of commercial failures, lost opportunities and Viveikbashing was because of my family. It was my fortress…
my refuge…my sanctum. It kept me safe and sane.

If you could, how differently would you have lived those seven years?
Maybe I’d want to live them the same way. Success and failure, passion and pain, persecution and alienation, I’ve experienced all this and more. And they’ve made me the person I am today. I’ve traded innocence for experience, ego for humility and complacency for a raging fire. And I like the new me.
I’ve grown as a person and I’d like to believe that this growth is reflected in my work.

Chandu Nagre in Company didn’t need depth, he needed raw passion. Could you relive the character you’re still best known by?
Chandu and Company were the result of who I was, who Ramgopal Varma was, seven years ago. It’d be difficult to recreate that magic. But you’ll see a different kind of magic in Rakta Charitra.

Ramgopal Varma and you had drifted away after Road. What brought about the reconciliation?
Ramgopal Varma was my mentor. Naturally, he was disappointed when he saw me squandering away the opportunity he’d given me.
But he heard that I’d changed. Maybe he saw the same fire in my eyes again, and offered me the most challenging role of my career.

Buzz is that Rakta Charitra is a modern-day Mahabharata?
Rakta Charitra is not the Mahabharata, it’s the truelife story of an iconic figure, in Andhra politics, Paritala Ravindra. It’s about his rise to power and ends with his assassination in 2005.

Kurbaan is very rooted in today’s socio-political scenario…
It is, but it’s different from other burning debates on terrorism because it propagates two opposing sides of view, that of the fundamentalists and then, that of those who live in fear. There is a third voice too, the voice of the moderate Muslim, Riyaaz. I can connect with them because, in a different context, I have experienced the same alienation, lived under constant scrutiny and scepticism. It’s tiresome and painful when people who don’t know anything about you assume things and make snap judgements.

Do you ever regret that press conference when you stood up for Aishwarya Rai and alienated Salman Khan forever?
Why look back when I’m on the eve of a new beginning? I was 24 then, I’m 30 now. May be I’d have handled things differently today. My innocence got the better of me.

Apparently your film Prince–It’s Showtime is being pitched against Salman Khan’s Veer on January 22, 2010?
Prince was scheduled for December but the SFX and graphics pushed it forward to 2010. It could release in January, February or March, that’s for the producer, Kumar Taurani, to decide.

Courtesy:HindustanTimes

The last time I was in Kolkata to play a football match with Mohammedan Sporting Club for the promotion of WANTED, I had to postpone the match and go back as people literally went crazy. But I was overwhelmed with the love and respect they showered on me and I had promised to come back. Aur ek bar hum kisiko commit kar dete hai toh hum khud bhi who commitment nehin tod sakte… by the way this is a dialogue from WANTED (smiles).

This time you danced, sang and even delivered dialogues on stage…

Yes, we arranged a small event for the promotion of my film LONDON DREAMS…I have a huge…massive fan-base in Kolkata. I just wish I can spend more time with them and interact with them more frequently…if only the distance between Mumbai and Kolkata could have been shortened! Otherwise, bahut lambi flight hai bhai!

Talking of LONDON DREAMS, you seem to share a very good on-screen chemistry with Asin…

Yeah, that’s because, off-screen too, we are very good friends. If your off-screen chemistry is good, then only your on-screen chemistry clicks.

There are news that you have got particularly fond of Asin…

That’s because she is one of the most wonderful persons I have met in my entire life. She is never tensed over the fate of a film, she has no ego, no tantrums, she is so simple, yet so elegant. Even in GHAJINI, her romantic scenes were more appreciated than the action sequences.

We are seeing the painter side of Salman quite often now. How did you get into painting?

It’s very difficult to say…I know there are painters who can give a proper answer to this question. But for me, I used to do pencil sketch as a kid…now I straightaway use the brush and the colours. My mother is a good painter…so may be I picked it up from her subconsciously.

You are known for your charity. Recently you even organized a charity fashion show for your organization ‘Being Human’. Would you like to elaborate?

If money can save a life, or can do anything to make a life better, and ‘Salman Khan’ can help in such ventures, then I try to do that. ‘Being Human’, as the name suggests, is all about being good human beings and there is a process to become a good human being…you have to feel for others.

Both the seasons of your game show ’10 ka Dum’ became huge successes. What do you think is the reason behind it…the game format, you or the celebrity guests?

I think it’s Salman Khan (smiles).

We heard that you were keen on directing your forthcoming film VEER?

I always wanted to be a director, but acting is fine as-of-now. I thought of directing VEER, but I don’t think I can handle acting and directing simultaneously. So Anil Sharma was handed over the responsibility.

Do you still feel nervous before the release of a new film?

No…actually I have never been (nervous). I don’t expect anything from my films…I give my best and then leave it to my audience to decide. If the audience reaction is positive, then the film is a hit, irrespective of Box Office collection and reviews.

Everyone seems to be very concerned about your marriage…

Yeah. But I think its high time people stop bothering about my marriage. When it has to happen, it will happen.

Excerpts from: Glamsham. Sreya Basu, TWF, Bollywood Trade News Network

But the 25-year-old, whose latest film Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani is released on November 6, said her rise to fame has not been easy and she is determined success will not go to her head.

“It didn’t happen overnight. I was here struggling to make it as a model and tried my luck in acting,” she said.

“I didn’t know in the first place whether I wanted to be in acting but then good roles started coming and my films started becoming a hit. And here I am.”

Kaif, born in Hong Kong to a British mother and a father of Indian Kashmiri origin, made a faltering start in the 2003 film Boom after being spotted in a commercial.

She has since notched up roles in high-profile films like the recent blockbuster Blue, the 2008 action comedy Singh Is Kinng and the romantic comedy Namastey London in 2007.

The actress in part attributes her rise to actor Salman Khan, with whom she starred in the 2005 hit comedy Maine Pyaar Kyon Kiya and now dates, although she refuses to talk about her private life.

“He was there to guide me in the industry when I was new over here and will always be special to me,” she said.

Kaif said she was always confident of success, despite setbacks.

“I have faced a lot of rejections and people always came up with one or the other excuse to reject me on flimsy grounds, but I kept going because I always knew someone would approve me,” she added.

This year’s New York, about a group of friends in the city on the day of the September 11, 2001 attacks, was a critical and box office success – and the moment Kaif said she felt she had made it in India.

Kaif, brought up in France, Hawaii and London and one of seven sisters, said family values had helped her keep a perspective in a country that reveres Bollywood stars like gods.

“I had a very frugal upbringing. My mother was into charity institutions and to date, she is involved in charity work, so I know what hardship means,” she explained.

“I never had pocket money and didn’t have access to material things.”

Her mother now lives in the southern Indian city of Chennai and works with orphans. “Lots of people feel that whatever I have earned is because of the goodness of her work,” she said.

Kaif, who took Hindi and dancing lessons to help her acting career, says said she never wanted to be a star. As a skinny teenager, she said boys would not give her a second glance – though now her innocent beauty has brought worldwide fame among Bollywood fans.

“As a girl I was fascinated about collecting marbles and my two elder sisters used to make me wash dishes in exchange for giving me marbles, which used to be the most precious possessions to me,” she said.

“I never knew that the marbles were very cheap and my sisters were fooling with me to do their work.”

Despite now being one of Bollywood’s biggest earners — at a reported 30 million rupees per film – Kaif said she is unchanged by fame.

“I am still the same person. I am not a glamorous person in real life. I don’t buy handbags like lots of other women do,” she said.

“I don’t spend on shoes, too, and you will always find me in casual dress if I am not in a film costume. I don’t want to look glamorous when I am off screen and I want to be as real as I can.”

As for criticism in the cut-throat world of Bollywood, where style often takes precedence over substance, she says she is “like every other girl”.

“I am sensitive and I have my weakness. If people say, ‘You have not lived up to expectations’, I get upset,” she added.

“I want to do good films. Eventually I want to be married and do things that will make me happy. I got this opportunity in the country by starting with nothing.”